punctuation

Published 2024-04-15

I keep waiting for a moment, a flash flood, a dam that breaks. As if a sudden dramatic and profound epiphany would give me permission to legitimize what I already know. That moment never came. Here I sit, recognizing that it never will.

So long I hung, suspended, paralyzed by a never ending life sentence. It seems I must give myself this, and seize this turn of phrase as the becoming that I am waiting for. I now recognize this trickle of slow and deliberate embodiment, so palpable that I can smell it, and taste it on my teeth. They are here, I am her, here, and now.

---

Written on 2023-11-20, a beautiful Monday when I was on vacation in Santa Barbara, CA. I wrote this right after watching the film Radical, while casually journalling sitting by myself at a brewery.